I'm lucky. I am able to work from home and I have a caring nanny who takes good care of Tripp during the day. Maggie and Tripp just walked down the lane together holding hands, she stopped and squatted. There was something on the ground that she picked up and I could tell they were talking about it. Maybe a caterpillar. After a minute, she placed whatever it was in the yard, took Tripp's hand and continued walking down the lane.
This scene just tore up my heart. I should be out there with Tripp...holding his hand, talking about the bugs and trees and enjoying the sunshine. He's only little for a so long. Instead, I'm upstairs, negotiating data from spreadsheets, trying to make sense of numbers and widgets to audit big company's telecom spend.
I'm thankful that I've been able to arrange for people to care for Tripp, and can have a good career, and be close. Yet, I still feel so sad. I want to walk thru the world with him and not miss the wonder and the most adorable exclamations of 'WOW' that come from his little mouth.