Just Do - Experience Greatest Teacher

This is such a trite statement -- experience is the greatest teacher.  I posted earlier about eliminating the space between inspiration and action.  That space is a pit for rumination.  It's precariously cobbled and only the most self disciplined can cross it.  I'm not super self disciplined - yet - and easily get lost in the weeds of choices and gathering more information and studying and comparing and, and, and... just pausing before actually DOING something.

One more book, one more video, one more article - to make sure I'm perfect before I leap out of that pit.  However, there's always more to consume and check and compare against before taking an action.  INSTEAD, take the action -- don't wait, toss fear aside because you will learn from this what not to do and what to do next time.  It's progress, not perfection.  Don't be afraid to make a mistake and learn.  Consume the experience and feedback from your action and move forward.  Don't stall and consume the pontifications of someone else.  They aren't perfect either.  No one is.  More action, more chances to win, it's that simple.

Kill the Count Down Genre

I won't get anywhere with 'How to be Totally Awesome in 10 Simple Steps" because first of all, that just does exist.  Awesome by who's standards?  And there is nothing simple when it comes to augmenting your own thinking and perception of yourself and the world.  Every article I come across online anymore is some number of things to achieve something great.  Snooze... when will the countdown genre die out?  By now, don't most people scroll on by those false promises of quick fixes?

Lists do display neatly on a phone screen though; and are quick and easy to digest.  I don't have time to read all my emails for work let alone verbose articles about magical thinking.  So, do I talk myself into or out of composing top-ten pieces of prose?

No one likely cares about this except me, maybe a person or two who loves me, and perhaps another writer.

Business Wisdom from my Father in Law

Tom walked out of his interview to work for Big Boy, where he ultimately became Vice President and trained new managers on leadership.  Here's the punch line, obviously, he got the job.  The interviewing manager sat back from his desk with his hands behind his head and feet propped up on his desk.  Sensing lack of interest and disrespect, Tom said "...." and politely excused himself.  Not more than hours later, he received a phone call from the assistant asking him back.  This time, the interviewer sat across from him at a restaurant table leaning forward and making eye contact.  Flippantly, the interviewer asked "is this better?" Tom replied that "yes, and thank you."

Manners and respect matter.  He got the job, they wanted him on the team because he expected and returned respect.  The interviewer saw in him qualities that he could instill in the line level employees of the restaurant - which ultimately is about providing a service to the public - and making a customer feel valued.

I've learned more nuggets of wisdom sitting across the table from this man.  He is technically my father in law, but from the very start he accepted me as his daughter and I accepted him as my father.  He's teaching me so much every time we're able to spend the quality time chatting.  I'm so very grateful for him!

Our Story Part 2: Before Tripp, there was Baby James, Baby Benjamin, and Baby Hope.

Our Story  Part 2: Before Tripp, there was Baby James, Baby Benjamin, and Baby Hope.

John and I had been married a few years at this time and were pumpkin patch picking pumpkins, mums and decorations for the fall.  I love planting mums and fall decorations are just so cozy and homey feeling.  Well, we were standing among rows and rows of mums at the pumpkin patch when we both turned to each other and said “this would be so much more fun with a kiddo!”  That moment still gives me goosebumps.  We knew we hit that magic moment where we were ready to start a family.  

Ok, I’ll toss the birth control and we’ll be pregnant in no time.   How naïve I was – I completely believed all the warnings from sex ed… however that was not how it was meant to be. 

In 2011 we lost both Baby James and Baby Benjamin.  In 2012, we lost Baby Hope right before Christmas.  

Good at What ?

What are you good at?  And how can you be sure if there are so many other things you haven't tried yet?  Instead of a powerful "decide and move" musing...today I'm musing about my talents.  I just heard Gary V. declare that the world is really good at pointing out your weaknesses and selling to them.  "Weight Loss!"  "Self-Help!"  "Financial Freedom!"  Because... our desire to improve and fix and get better is based on our ego, our idea of self-worth, our esteem.  

Instead, what if you could figure out what you're good at?  What is your strength? Or multiple strengths and how can you capitalize on those, then find crutches or help or outsource the rest.  

Me, for example... this is not an original idea, but it's new to me, this concept of focusing on your talent instead of your flaws.  I am good at hearing an idea or a concept, becoming inspired by it and taking it forward.  I'm not the best at coming up with my own ideas.  This bothers me... a lot.  It's why I don't write very often because I feel like it needs to be original.  And yet, maybe it's not -- I'm not writing a fictional story and plagiarizing.  I am simply articulating those little simple truths that rattle around in my brain.  I muse -- focus on a concept and let it transform me.  Maybe that is something to be good at and can be useful... 

Eliminate that space between inspiration and action

That space is the hesitation, the second guessing.  It’s the gap that lets perfectionism run through and distract you from achieving anything.  I’ve been trying to focus on “done is better than perfect.”  That pause that is allowed between the idea and the execution can be brief enough to guard against impulsive foolishness or long enough to stop all momentum. 

That risk of being impulsive could just as easily be counted as a stepping stone to greatness.  That impulse to jump and take action against your idea, immediately without ruminating on every single possible alternative and nitty gritty detail can short cut you to a failure – which in turn, with the right mindset – is the lesson you need to do it better next time.  No matter how much you study and prepare for something – nothing is a better teacher than actually experiencing it.  This is why doctors go through residency.  Sure, studying for 8+ years in school gains you a lot of knowledge, but it’s nothing compared to performing on a live patient in the operating room. 

That space between inspiration and action represents fear and hesitation.  Jump the gap, execute the idea and reap the knowledge from the results.  

*hits publish without a second thought*

Raining Signs

It’s happening again… He’s happening again…

At swim lessons on Saturday, a former colleague who I am connected to on Facebook says:  “oh, I meant to tell you Congratulations on number two!”  Me: puzzled look…   “Didn’t you adopt again, I thought I saw that on Facebook?”

On Sunday John, Tripp, and I take a road trip to buy Magic cards, so lots of time for conversation.  We have a real conversation about us and our family and why we’re dragging our feet on the homestudy.  I am finally able to explain my fear of handling everything right now.  And we discuss how right now is temporary.  Tripp will only be little for so long.  I said I am certain that I will regret letting my fear stop me from pursuing more kiddos.  I am still certain of that…

This morning, I read a blog post that cracks my heart open.  I read a lot of essays, blogs, posts about foster care and adoption.  But this quote nailed it: 

"You can handle getting attached and getting hurt. You’re an adult. You can handle it. They are kids."

My fear is so much smaller than the real horror some kids are being forced to deal with.  We can make the choice to step forward…

Our social worker emails me next, this morning, asking to come do our final visit on Thursday.  I wrote back asking about having all the paperwork done – she says that we can work on a schedule and she wants to have our homestudy done and us licensed by the end of the month!

A friend texts me, as I’m emailing our social worker… she asks if we’re licensed yet because a baby she's concerned about is somewhere unknown and she’s getting CPS involved.  She wants him to go to a good and safe home. 

I don’t think I asked for a sign… but it’s raining outside, and God is raining signs down on us.  I’m scared, nervous, and excited.  And we have a LOT of work in front of us!


Edit: John reminded me of one more sign - on Sunday evening I hung a new sign on our front door, it says LOVE.