Take Off Those Comparison Glasses!

Comparison.  Is.  Not.  Accurate!  

I don’t know how my mom was raised.  I don’t know what my Nana did or didn't do for breakfast each morning, to judge whether or not my mom got it right.  I don’t even remember what my friends said their moms did or didn't do for them.  I do remember going to dog shows and sitting down to be covered with a blanket of puppies.  I remember road trips, and visiting her friends’ houses.  I especially remember a day when we had a “picnic” in her bedroom with McDonald’s food and Dumbo on TV.  I don’t know if any other mom in the whole wide world did that with their kiddos but it was very special with my mom.  

Tripp needs deserves ME, right now, doing special important things with and for him.  He’s not looking at Pinterest and judging if it’s fancy or perfect enough… just time and attention, it’s enough.  So, while I’m beating myself up, wondering if I measure up or if I’m doing something right – he’s just hanging out waiting for mommy to come be with him. 

I should also remember, that I fiercely love(d) my mom.  She was not perfect, she was fighting her own demons, but that did not matter to me.  It didn’t matter until the end when she was so sick.  I didn’t “see” it for a long time.  I didn’t want to see it because I only wanted her and I’ve always only wanted her to be happy and feel good.  Wouldn’t Tripp want his mommy to be happy and feel good, too

Messy and Not Perfect

Yesterday, as I was waiting on an oil change for my car I felt inspired to put down some thoughts for our adoption profile.  Just thoughts, nothing cohesive that we can use yet.  The pressure of appearing "perfect" has been rolling around in my head, raising my shoulders to my ears in stress, and making me irritable.   I read about this idea in one of our required reading books for the homestudy.  Prospecitve adoptive parents are under so much pressure to prove that they will be "SUPER PARENTS" complete with a flowing cape (even when there is no wind).  No spit up is too gross, no temper tantrum too loud, we can handle it all, flawlessly.  Wow, talk about pressure! 

But, you know what?  Things get messy.  Maybe our house isn't spotless... we do live there, with two giant monsters (aka Riggs & Gunner) 

Side note: our kiddo won't be scared of monsters because he'll always think of them as big furry pups with wagging tails!   See, not perfect - my thought train is all over the place. 



 It's OK to mess up -- how else do you learn.  It's certainly OK to not be perfect.  Perfect is annoying and boring.  All good movies follow a hero or heroine who has a problem.  Something bad happens and you really pull for that person to overcome.  It makes the story great. 

John and I are far from perfect.  I've cooked the Thanksgiving turkey with the bag of parts still inside the bird; we've called the butterball hotline for help!  John once made a beautiful rustic shelf..but it was too heavy to pick up, let alone hang on a wall.  Both are funny memories.  In John's wedding ring, I had "remember the time when we...." engraved.  That's how we roll, always doing something, always trying, and all the while cherishing the stories we write together.  Life is messy, and that's OK.  I figure if we were perfect, it means we aren't trying to do anything new or outside our comfort zone.  Snoooze fest!

Adoption is way outside our comfort level; after all the "perfect" family is Mom + Dad + 2.5 kids.  Adotpion is adding more people to the equation - a social worker, a birth mom, and lots of supporters (since we've put ourselves out there).  It's bound to be messy, but also adds a fantastic dimension to our story.  The more quirky characters the better.  We don't know how this is going to turn out, but we are going to enjoy the experience. 

Craig Morgan sang:  "You might have a few less scars, but I'll have better stories"  Great song...!